A Free Bleeding Scene

shutterstock_342680309I kneel down on the rug outside of the bathtub and turn the water on. I adjust the temperature and stand up to enter the shower. I quickly shave my entire body of unwanted hair and wash my face. Careful not to wet my pinned up hair, I shift my position and arch my back as i tug the saturated tampon out of my vagina. I pull the shower curtain aside and drop it into the wastebasket. I retrieve the shower wand, immediately putting it to His bloody pussy as I hurriedly wash it clean.

I kneel before the shower head, still mindful of my dry hair, and turn off the water. Kneeling as I turn the water on and off is a ritual Daddy has requested I follow in order to remind myself of my submissive headspace…I cleanse myself of daily stresses and wash His body in preparation of presentation. I pull back the curtain and insert a new Super plus absorbency tampon, even before stepping out of the shower, so I wouldn’t bleed on the bathmat.

Cramping and nauseated, I dress slowly and prepare myself to sit through a child’s birthday party. Daddy sees the discomfort on my face and asks if I have taken Ibuprofen yet. I shake my head ‘no’ and accept them straight from His hand into my mouth. I gulp them down with water and thank Him. Daddy asks if my flow is heavy and I tell Him that it is raging.

“When we come home later tonight, take off your clothes and remove your tampon. Put on a long nightshirt and don’t put on panties”, Daddy says as I continue dressing.

“Yes, Daddy”, I reply.

Daddy thanks me and I put on my silver…stud earrings, dangling earrings, eyebrow piercing jewelry…His Training Collar is already around my neck. He returned it to me on our weekend in New York, July 2-3, 2016.

I attend the party with my family but I become nauseated again after three hours and Daddy tells me to return home. Daddy decides to stay with our boys and gets them changed to go into the pool. He kisses me and tells me to feel better. I thank Him and I begin the short walk home.

I arrive home and go into the bathroom. I remove my tampon and flush it down the toilet. I take off all my clothes and carry them into our bedroom. I select a black long nightshirt from the closet and put it on. I happily begin my free bleeding task.

After the children are in bed, Daddy comes into our bed and lays down for His nightly massage. He breathes deeply as I touch and tease His body, relishing the scent of coppery lust in the air. He growls softly in His throat. His Cock is stiff and rigid as He gently pushes me back on the the pillows…and He begins to feed on the blood dripping from my body, licking and suckling on my swollen clit and lips, confident in the fact that all before Him is unequivocally His.

After He is satisfied and I am shaking, we leave our bed, now damp and perfumed in blood and sex to go to the patio to smoke. Blood and semen are dripping from my thighs and the mixture stains the wooden bench upon which I am seated. When we are finished, we slip back into bed. His love still dripping from me, bloody and slick, as He kisses me goodnight and I snuggle against Him. He is breathing our combined scent deeply, until He is drawn into sleep. I snuggle beside Him and drift off as well, His love still dripping out of His body, carried along all night by the crimson river, which He will taste again before it runs dry.

~Beautifully Broken~

Nightly Rituals

*Originally written and posted on Facebook on August 4, 2015.  Daddy and I were still involved in our long distance relationships  (LDR) during this time.

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My Dom and I are long distance, however, W/we keep O/our dynamic active and consistent 24/7. Even from 3,000 miles away, He is in control of my daily life to the absolute best of His ability. He has listed all of my daily tasks, household chores and leisure activities into a single daily routine which I am to follow as closely as possible, unless otherwise instructed, every single day. I have found that i thrive in a structured environment. He has removed almost all of the chaos and doubt from my daily life. He’s demonstrated how I am to simply follow Daddy’s rules and leave the rest to Him. No worrying…no overthinking. This applies as closely as possible during the day…where outside obligations, the needs of our children and my own shortcomings are all apt to derail my efforts at any moment…but it especially applies to that magical hour, known to parents as “After Bedtime”….(sigh ♡)

“After Bedtime” is when i get to stop focusing so intently on being Mom and begin turning my full attention to my Dominant…to being His submissive, His whore, His little girl. We have several ritualized activities that i am to perform as soon as the boys are in bed. After all the household chores are completed and the boys are in bed, it’s O/our time. I am to strip out of my day clothes and put on just a long night-shirt and thong. I am to exercise if I hadn’t done so earlier in the day for 30-60 minutes. I am to read on any topic of my choice and to write on any topic of my choice for a total of 60 minutes and during tthat time i may journal, read a book or read or write about something Lifestyle-related. I am to shower, shave and wash my hair. Afterwards I check in on the pages I own and the groups i own or admin. Then I either talk to Daddy until my bedtime or i watch a movie and do my nails. At 2:15sm, all electronics are to be put away and i may read in bed until i fall asleep.

Do you participate in any nightly rituals, either as a Dominant or as a submissive? Have any Doms ever created any ritualized tasks for their submissives? What do you do in your rituals? Are these acts important to you? If so, why?

~Beautifully Broken~

Six Types of Spankings

*Written and posted on Facebook on September 17, 2015.

There are several types of spankings that can be introduced and applied within your relationship dynamic, including therapeutic spankings, erotic spankings, punishment spankings, role play spankings, hardcore spankings and maintenance spankings. These spankings can be given by hand or by impact play props, such a paddle, a cane, a flogger, a riding crop, a whip, a slapper, a cat-o-nine tails or anything else that can be safely used as an impact session prop. Each type of spanking will have its own range on the pain scale of 1 (slight slap) to 10 (extreme strike). Any type of spanking can and should be stopped immediately by the submissive calling the safe word.

Therapeutic spankings are solely intended to bring about emotional release for the submissive and as such, they are usually without any sexual aspect. The Dominant is seeking to break down any emotional walls the submissive may be struggling with and/or to reduce stress by triggering an emotional release, usually (for me anyway) resulting in uncontrollable sobbing until complete exhaustion. They are most often done by hand so the Dominant can more intimately connect with the submissive. Therapeutic spankings will usually range anywhere from 4 to 8 on the pain scale, but the preferences and needs of each couple will vary.

Erotic spankings are intended as an erotic prelude to a sexual encounter. These types of spankings usually begin very mellow and deliberate and build in intensity to the desired level of erotic pain. Submissive “painsluts” are very fond of these types of spankings, as the pain isn’t overwhelming and the endorphins released will increase their sexual desire, in turn, increasing the arousal of their Dominant. They can be done with any implement the couple most enjoys. Erotic spankings will usually increase in range on the pain scale, from 2 to 8, but can go as far as 10, depending upon preferences of the couple.

Punishment spankings are just that…punishment…and are NOT intended to be enjoyed by the submissive. They are used to correct inappropriate behavior and to serve as a reminder of the Dominant’s displeasure in the actions of the submissive. They can be done with any implement but some feel that using the bare hands is much more intimate, and thus bonds the experience to the mind of the submissive and offers a greater chance of the submissive not repeating the inappropriate behavior. Punishment spankings can range from 4 to 10 on the pain scale, per the intentions of the Dominant.

Role play spankings are the most diverse type of spankings because the role play scenario(s) can vary significantly from couple to couple and from role play experience to experience. The role play scenarios can include a Mommy disciplining her little boy for drawing on the walls to a government official torturing a criminal for information. The ideas for role play spankings are only limited by your imagination and personal comfort level. They can be done with bare hands and any implement(s) that fit the scenario. Role play spankings can range from 1 to 10 on the pain scale, depending upon the fantasy and the preferences of the couple.

Hardcore spankings are exactly as the name suggests…hardcore. These spankings are most often only engaged in by Sadists and masochists and/or painsluts. They are intended to deliver and receive pain…nothing more and nothing less, and as such, feelings of arousal are secondary, if even applicable. They can be done by hand or by an impact session prop, and are often applied by the more extreme ones, such as tails, slappers and whips. Hardcore spankings can gradually increase in range on the pain scale from 4 to 10…but many Sadists start hard and heavy and maintain it throughout the session.

Maintenance spankings are used as a method of establishing a connection, or more often a re-connection, between a Dom and a sub. The intimate touching and exchanges of energy are positive methods of expressing love, connection and trust. These spankings are even done in LDRs (long distance relationships) by the means of the submissive applying self-spanking techniques under the orders of the Dominant, where the submissive is acting in His or Her stead. They can be done by hand or with any desired impact play prop. Maintenance spankings can range from 2 to 6 on the pain scale, but can vary upon the preferences and desires of each couple…and they can often end in tears, cuddles and sweet words of love and positive reinforcement.

Do you utilize any of these types of spankings in your relationship dynamic? If so, which ones and what do you get out of the experience?

~Beautifully Broken~

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Welcome to My World

FB_IMG_1469123794503Hello and welcome, everyone.  I’m so glad that we are here together.

I am an owned and collared submissive.  I am also a Pagan.  I am 38 years old.  Well, actually, I’ll be 39 in a few weeks.  I’m a Leo.  I go by the pen name ~Beautifully Broken~ on Facebook and Tumblr, and now here on this blog as well.

I have been divorced for almost a year now and I have two wonderful sons from that ill-fated union.  We live in Connecticut, in my mother’s home, along with my mother, her mother (my grandmother, the boys’ great-grandmother) and my sons’ cat, Missy.

As I stated before, I am an owned and collared submissive.  I identify as a middle.  My Dominant, my Daddy, and I were long distance for almost two years…Him in California, me here…but He moved here to be with us about 6 months ago so now He lives here too.

It is crowded here.

We are cramped for space.  We’really short on privacy.  Occasionally, we get on each other’s nerves.  Usually, we are in wonderful harmomy.  We are a Family…and it is amazing.

In this blog, I will write about my life as a submissive and the journey I share with my Dominant, my amazing Daddy.

While BDSM and our D/s Caregiver dynamic will be the main focus of my writings, I will also include stories about our children, our friends and their endeavors, my burgeoning nursing career and whatever else touches my heart ♡

I look forward to getting to know you all as you all get to know me…and you will get to know me.  I am not shy.  Not in the slightest.

~Beautifully Broken~