*Originally written and posted to Facebook on June 17, 2015
I’ve been privy to many conversations today…and maybe it’s just me putting my own spin on things…but the concept of BDSM relationships and how the actions of D-types and their s-types reflect upon one another and affect one another keeps coming up. The D/s & M/s dynamics are multi-faceted ones and there are also many layers under the surface of each facet. We as couples take refuge in each other…we understand our mates as no one else in the world does because we not only see the layers inside, we also know why these layers exist.
These differences are felt across the board…from sub among sub and certainly from relationship among relationship. What can be viewed as disrespectful behavior in one dynamic is playful in another. What is seen as abuse by one s-type is seen as primal play by another. The difference lies in the comfort level, information level and desire level between the D and s in each particular relationship.
As far as D’s and s’s reflecting on each other, i believe that they do…but HOW they reflect upon one another is really none of anyone else’s business. The couple that seems to endlessly fight are doing so because they are learning to navigate thru communication issues. The couple who goes to extremes in all things are learning about limits, boundaries and self control. The most brutal S/m couples are finding ways to heal their pain.
What I’m saying is that the beauty of this Lifestyle is to be found when we learn from our differences among our Sisters and Brothers. Our journies are all unique and the best we can hope to be as Lifestylers can be found when we bond thru our similarities and learn thru our differences. We never really understand the choices or behaviors of another until they let us in or when we experience their reality ourselves.
Judge not…lest ye be judged.