No Safe Word To Save Me

Daddy and I have been kinda tense lately.  We’ve been navigating unchartered waters since He started staying Home with the boys full time after finishing His liver therapy and I finished school and started working again.  It seems that our roles of daily life are in complete opposition to our D/s dynamic roles and sometimes we clash when one of us can’t slip back into those D/s roles so easily.

After a long discussion today and a few tears, I saw Him for who He is again with new eyes.  The Man who loves me, who would kill or die for both me and our boys,  my Daddy, my Sir, my Fiance.  I know He saw me as He did in the past as well because once we were okay again, He bent me over the desk and spanked the fuck outta me before the kids arrived Home from school.

This wasn’t the ‘sexy’ spanking to which I have become accustomed.  It wasn’t play and it wasn’t punishment.  Actually, for the very first time in our relationship, it wasn’t for me at all.  This session was all His.  It was a release of rage and anxiety.  It was a reclaiming of what is His, even if only in His own heart and mind.  It was a test of my endurance and obedience to His will above my own.  He knows me better than I know myself and He can read me like a book.  The way I go on my tip toes when the pain makes me anxious.  The way I whimper when I am close to breaking.  The way I just sob when I feel helpless.  He saw it all…and I know it turned Him on as He smacked my ass over and over until I wanted to scream with no breaks in between to caress my stinging flesh.  I wanted to pull away.  I wanted to put my hands out to shield my skin.  I wanted to stop Him…but i didn’t…because this wasn’t about me.  

Instead, I just allowed the pain to swallow me.  I forced myself to feel the pain in my muscles as hard as I had been ignoring the pain in my heart.  I just let myself feel, I let myself cry.  I actually told myself that I would not die from this and that it would eventually end.  I needed to show Him that I could and would take whatever He needed to give, the same way He takes everything the boys and I have ever needed to give.  It was the most subservient I have felt in months, despite everything else I have gladly done for Him, this was the most important.  No decisions to make, no safe words with which to escape, no place to hide from the pain.  All I could do was be present and submit.  My rewards were the tears that flowed free and hot on my face…and feeling Him excited against me as He licked them from my cheeks.  Such a small act with such profound meaning.

~Beautifully Broken~

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~Beautifully Broken~

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~Beautifully Broken~

Do Dominants and Submissives Reflect One Another As They Affect One Another…?

*Originally written and posted to Facebook on June 17, 2015

I’ve been privy to many conversations today…and maybe it’s just me putting my own spin on things…but the concept of BDSM relationships and how the actions of D-types and their s-types reflect upon one another and affect one another keeps coming up.  The D/s & M/s dynamics are multi-faceted ones and there are also many layers under the surface of each facet.  We as couples take refuge in each other…we understand our mates as no one else in the world does because we not only see the layers inside, we also know why these layers exist.

These differences are felt across the board…from sub among sub and certainly from relationship among relationship.  What can be viewed as disrespectful behavior in one dynamic is playful in another.  What is seen as abuse by one s-type is seen as primal play by another.  The difference lies in the comfort level, information level and desire level between the D and s in each particular relationship.

As far as D’s and s’s reflecting on each other, i believe that they do…but HOW they reflect upon one another is really none of anyone else’s business.  The couple that seems to endlessly fight are doing so because they are learning to navigate thru communication issues.  The couple who goes to extremes in all things are learning about limits, boundaries and self control.  The most brutal S/m couples are finding ways to heal their pain.  

What I’m saying is that the beauty of this Lifestyle is to be found when we learn from our differences among our Sisters and Brothers.  Our journies are all unique and the best we can hope to be as Lifestylers can be found when we bond thru our similarities and learn thru our differences.  We never really understand the choices or behaviors of another until they let us in or when we experience their reality ourselves.

Judge not…lest ye be judged.

~Beautifully Broken~

DIY BDSM Project: Sensory Play Leather Tacked Vampire Gloves

​You don’t need to be a millionaire to have your own amazing room filled with BDSM equipment!!  Make some yourself!!

Sensory Play Leather Tacked Vampire Gloves…

Yes, Soft Limit or Hard Limit?  Check out this post before the name scares you away!  😉

These tacked leather gloves can be used for several types of scenes and BDSM-related activities, such as sensory play, impact play and even blood play.  They are very simple props and they’re highly effective at achieving any of the desired effects, depending upon the personal preferences of the parties involved.

They’re a very simple and fairly inexpensive DIY project for even the most un-handy of kinksters (pun totally intended!!).  All you will need to create these gloves are: 

1.  a pair of leather gloves

2.  a box of thumb tacks

3.  hot glue and/or fabric glue

4.  a wooden or plastic dowel.  

That’s it!  You can have your own pair of amazing BDSM gloves in just a few simple steps:

1.  Turn the gloves inside out, using the dowel to fully turn the fingertips.  

2.  Press the thumb tacks through the fabric, with the pointed end poking through the leather, away from the wearer’s skin and toward the reciever.  

3.  Once you have the desired amount of thumb tacks pressed through in the patterns you desire, glue them all down on to the fabric part on the inside of the glove.  

4.  Allow the glue to dry.  

5.  When the glue is completely dried, you can use the dowel again to push the fingertips completely back right side out so you don’t scratch or poke yourself.  Unless, of course, you’re into that kinda thing…  😉

Definitely one of the easiest DIY BDSM toys/props I’ve come across so far, hands down!  (I’m so punny!)

Would you like to experiment with these sensory play leather gloves?  Would you be able to make a pair (or two!) for you and your partner(s)?  How would you like to use these gloves in a scene…? For sensory play, impact play, blood play?  What’s your opinion?

~Beautifully Broken~

​My Daddy Dom Moves Mountains For Me (NSFW)

Daddy gives the absolute best head I’ve ever had.

Okay,  I know that was blunt, but i have to make you understand where I’m coming from here.

I mean this Man goes *in*.  He pays attention to every silken crease and fold, every inch is explored and devoured before He is sated.  Our bed is always soaked in saliva and pussy juices afterwards.

Daddy went down on me the other night.  He was incredible.  He kept edging me, leading me back up to the crest…and pulling me back down the wave, over and over again, without me losing focus and getting all frustrated.  I just let my body go and instinctually respond to Him, knowing implicitly that I would recieve whatever He was trying to give me during that encounter.  I just simply let go and gave every part of myself to Him.

All the stress about our daily finances, all the tension of me being in an employment holding pattern until Fall when school starts, all the grief over my friend’s overdose and all the deaths of old friends that i have suffered this year…it all just rose to the surface and washed out to sea as the rolling waves He created on my clit swayed me, cradling me, keeping me safe, as it all drifted away from me.

I remembered how complete I felt during our last maintenance spanking scene and i hugged Him tight, in acknowledgement and thanks for Him finding a new way to elicit that much needed response from me when our maintenance spanking sessions just aren’t possible right now.

Daddy knew i needed that kind of therapeutic release and He figured out a wonderful way of delivering that to His girl.  That Man doesn’t run from a problem, He faces the mountain.  Even when He cannot get around the mountain at hand, He doesn’t give up.  He simply finds a way to move the mountain out of His path instead.  Daddy moves mountains for me every day…and I adore Him for it ♡

~Beautifully Broken~

There Is No Such Thing As a True Dominant (Or a True Submissive Or Anything Else, For That Matter)

This meme is incredibly accurate…especially for a meme.  Dominance (and submission, for that matter) is a state of mind above than anything else…much more a state of mind than it is something sexual or even kinky.  My Daddy and I can be in a crowded room, full of non-Lifestylers, and all He has to do is give me a two second look and my body viscerally reacts.  My pulse quickens and my breath draws in more shallow.  I can instantly hear His voice in my head, actually saying whatever needs to be communicated in His sexy, deepened voice and I literally start to melt.  And, yes…I know what ‘literally’ means.  That’s what I’m talking about when I proudly title Him with the honorific as my Dom, my Daddy Dom, my Daddy, my Sadist, my Other, my Love…He is both inside my head and inside my heart.

Daddy and I are  practicing a 24/7 Dominance/submission (D/s) Caregiver dynamics in our home together.  We have come to title our dynamic as such because we are a “Daddy Dom/babygirl” caregiver paradigm as well as D/s.  Some Daddies and littles do not subscribe to the D/s power exchange at all, opting only for the caregiver aspect, so I will usually make that distinction.

Daddy and I have had hours of discussions about what works for us as individuals and as a couple, in terms of intimate wants and needs, emotional boundaries, sexual limits and desires and both short and long term goals for the future.  We know one another very, very well.  We have come to a place in our relationship where it’s easier to talk about the uncomfortable emotions and just be real with each other.  It’s not always easy but it is worth it.  I think that the biggest downfall of any alternative lifestyles relationship dynamic is when the parties have differences in their wants, needs, limits and desires because that creates unmet expectations.  Unfulfilled expectations can be devastating to one party while the other party does not even know that there’s any issue going on in their partner’s(s’) mind and heart at all.  

Some people form the foundations for these unfulfilled expectations even before the ever meet their partner!!  

For example, let’s say I am new to the BDSM scene.  I have done my research online and discussed personal experiences on topics of which i have personal interest with others through reputable Internet groups and I have gone out into my local community to begin to form a network of friendships.  I have already decided, in my own mind, exactly what a “real” Dom looks like…and I have done this strictly from my own inaccurate impressions from books and articles as well as on my own unexperienced expectations of what Dominance, submission, and BDSM at large, actually are.  

If the above list is what works for you right now, that’s great.  However, no one can expect everyone to subscribe to their wants, needs or belief systems.  At this point, a new kinkster is all about BDSM Fantasy instead of BDSM Reality because they simply do not know any better.  A person who is new to kink will already have unrealistic perceptions of what participating in BDSM is all about…and to make matters worse, they usually expect everyone in the Lifestyle to agree with them.  It just doesn’t work.

Your perception of what a “true” or “real” Dominant, submissive, Top, bottom and/or switch is will not match up with the realities of others.  You cannot expect them to do so.  It takes time and experience to understand that YKINMKBYKIOK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is O.K.).  In other words, just because you are into something that I’m not into, it doesn’t make your desires “bad”, it just makes them not for me.  This concept extends from inclinations towards sexual activities, predispositions to kinks and fetishes as well as desires and limits regarding interpersonal relationships and/or participation in any BDSM dynamics.

One of the most commonly overlooked aspects of BDSM is the vetting, questioning and interviewing of potential partners.  People need to remember that not every person will be into what you’re into so it’s important to take the time to find someone who is.  

Let me repeat that:  

It takes time to find a compatible partner.

Talk about your wants and needs with your potential partner(s) without shame.  Discuss your goals and limits with honesty and integrity.  Be true to yourself.  Allow others to be true to themselves without degradation or expectations.  Understand that just because something doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work wonderfully for others.

A final point worth mentioning…

Honorable BDSMers come in all shapes and sizes.  One size does definitely NOT fit all in this Lifestyle.  That said, there ARE people who hurt and abuse others.

THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT PRACTICING BDSM.  THE ARE PRACTICING ABUSE.  Plain and simple.

When we label people as “true” and “real”, especially on social media, we set up an impossibly inaccurate standards to which others are forcefully made to adhere, even if just in our own minds.  It’s unfair, biased and unrealistic to do this.  There are definitely people who try to act like kinksters from every corner of the Lifestyle, but they are not practicing consensual, responsible BDSM.  They are also the ones who hurt, abuse, rape and kidnap others for their own sick personal gratification.  These people hide among us, but they are not practicing BDSM and I think it is very important that distinction is made.  BDSM is all about CONSENT and people who hurt and abuse others do not have that consent.  The two concepts are miles apart.

Vetting, questioning and interviewing of potential partner(s), with the help of tools such as various BDSM checklists for activities, kinks and fetishes, is your most powerful asset as you navigate through the Lifestyle.  Taking the time to ask, research and answer these types of discussion prompts is yet another asset.  Don’t become frenzied as you search for prospective partners, take your time and learn to know with whom you are dealing…or even if you care to deal with them at all.

~Beautifully Broken~

Six Types of Spankings

*Written and posted on Facebook on September 17, 2015.

There are several types of spankings that can be introduced and applied within your relationship dynamic, including therapeutic spankings, erotic spankings, punishment spankings, role play spankings, hardcore spankings and maintenance spankings. These spankings can be given by hand or by impact play props, such a paddle, a cane, a flogger, a riding crop, a whip, a slapper, a cat-o-nine tails or anything else that can be safely used as an impact session prop. Each type of spanking will have its own range on the pain scale of 1 (slight slap) to 10 (extreme strike). Any type of spanking can and should be stopped immediately by the submissive calling the safe word.

Therapeutic spankings are solely intended to bring about emotional release for the submissive and as such, they are usually without any sexual aspect. The Dominant is seeking to break down any emotional walls the submissive may be struggling with and/or to reduce stress by triggering an emotional release, usually (for me anyway) resulting in uncontrollable sobbing until complete exhaustion. They are most often done by hand so the Dominant can more intimately connect with the submissive. Therapeutic spankings will usually range anywhere from 4 to 8 on the pain scale, but the preferences and needs of each couple will vary.

Erotic spankings are intended as an erotic prelude to a sexual encounter. These types of spankings usually begin very mellow and deliberate and build in intensity to the desired level of erotic pain. Submissive “painsluts” are very fond of these types of spankings, as the pain isn’t overwhelming and the endorphins released will increase their sexual desire, in turn, increasing the arousal of their Dominant. They can be done with any implement the couple most enjoys. Erotic spankings will usually increase in range on the pain scale, from 2 to 8, but can go as far as 10, depending upon preferences of the couple.

Punishment spankings are just that…punishment…and are NOT intended to be enjoyed by the submissive. They are used to correct inappropriate behavior and to serve as a reminder of the Dominant’s displeasure in the actions of the submissive. They can be done with any implement but some feel that using the bare hands is much more intimate, and thus bonds the experience to the mind of the submissive and offers a greater chance of the submissive not repeating the inappropriate behavior. Punishment spankings can range from 4 to 10 on the pain scale, per the intentions of the Dominant.

Role play spankings are the most diverse type of spankings because the role play scenario(s) can vary significantly from couple to couple and from role play experience to experience. The role play scenarios can include a Mommy disciplining her little boy for drawing on the walls to a government official torturing a criminal for information. The ideas for role play spankings are only limited by your imagination and personal comfort level. They can be done with bare hands and any implement(s) that fit the scenario. Role play spankings can range from 1 to 10 on the pain scale, depending upon the fantasy and the preferences of the couple.

Hardcore spankings are exactly as the name suggests…hardcore. These spankings are most often only engaged in by Sadists and masochists and/or painsluts. They are intended to deliver and receive pain…nothing more and nothing less, and as such, feelings of arousal are secondary, if even applicable. They can be done by hand or by an impact session prop, and are often applied by the more extreme ones, such as tails, slappers and whips. Hardcore spankings can gradually increase in range on the pain scale from 4 to 10…but many Sadists start hard and heavy and maintain it throughout the session.

Maintenance spankings are used as a method of establishing a connection, or more often a re-connection, between a Dom and a sub. The intimate touching and exchanges of energy are positive methods of expressing love, connection and trust. These spankings are even done in LDRs (long distance relationships) by the means of the submissive applying self-spanking techniques under the orders of the Dominant, where the submissive is acting in His or Her stead. They can be done by hand or with any desired impact play prop. Maintenance spankings can range from 2 to 6 on the pain scale, but can vary upon the preferences and desires of each couple…and they can often end in tears, cuddles and sweet words of love and positive reinforcement.

Do you utilize any of these types of spankings in your relationship dynamic? If so, which ones and what do you get out of the experience?

~Beautifully Broken~

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