A Glimpse of The Evolution of Edging

“Sometimes I Need Reminding, But It Gets Easier…” was the original title of this post…because sometimes I do…and His tongue always reminds me.

I’ll be honest here.  I used to get VERY snippy and frustrated when Daddy wouldn’t allow me to climax for more than 2-3 days.  By Day 5, I could be a straight up bitch.  I know that sounds awful…but it’s something I’m still working on after all this time and I’m much better at controling my  emotions now.  For me, keeping my libido in check was MUCH harder when we were long distance…just having Him around every day for snuggles, hugs and kisses helps a lot when He decides it’s ‘Blow Job and Back Rub Week’.  Daddy never goes for more than a day without blowing His wad…unless He’s in one of His ‘Tease and Deny’ moods…and He almost always gets an hour massage before going to sleep every night so constantly touching Him is usually the release I need if He is denying me.  But.  Some night.  Some nights, touching and massaging Him, alone together, in the dark, is enough to drive me positively mad.  I know, I know…it’s not about me…but i still need to have my internal coping mechanisms for such situations.

Sometimes it amazes me how far we’ve come in just 2 1/2 years.  When we began our relationship, I was very insecure about so many different things…myself, my prospective relationship with Him, anything having to do with my future and my sobriety…I was a wreck.  Daddy walked with me in Spirit every single day, from across the country, while I worked to get my life back on track.  Along the way, I helped Him break through  some walls that He never thought were coming down.  We loved each other enough to let us each become the people we were always meant to be.  It’s rare when you find that…everyone wants you to change for them.  Here, we were changing for ourselves…and that’s why the changes stuck.

Now, since Daddy’s living here with me, I don’t get too bad when Daddy wants to deny me.  I don’t get angry, offended or upset, like I used to do that first year of our LDR.  I understand and appreciate our dynamic much more clearly.  Plus, when He finally allows me to cum…it’s not just sex, it’s a spiritual experience.  Phone sex was fantastic when that’s all we had to express our intimacy and lust.  Visits were wonderful but they were always foreshadowed with knowledge of their eventual end.  All of that is finally behind us.  Daddy’s Home now…and being in O/our bed together every night is…perfection 💙

~Beautifully Broken~

DIY BDSM Project: Sensory Play Leather Tacked Vampire Gloves

​You don’t need to be a millionaire to have your own amazing room filled with BDSM equipment!!  Make some yourself!!

Sensory Play Leather Tacked Vampire Gloves…

Yes, Soft Limit or Hard Limit?  Check out this post before the name scares you away!  😉

These tacked leather gloves can be used for several types of scenes and BDSM-related activities, such as sensory play, impact play and even blood play.  They are very simple props and they’re highly effective at achieving any of the desired effects, depending upon the personal preferences of the parties involved.

They’re a very simple and fairly inexpensive DIY project for even the most un-handy of kinksters (pun totally intended!!).  All you will need to create these gloves are: 

1.  a pair of leather gloves

2.  a box of thumb tacks

3.  hot glue and/or fabric glue

4.  a wooden or plastic dowel.  

That’s it!  You can have your own pair of amazing BDSM gloves in just a few simple steps:

1.  Turn the gloves inside out, using the dowel to fully turn the fingertips.  

2.  Press the thumb tacks through the fabric, with the pointed end poking through the leather, away from the wearer’s skin and toward the reciever.  

3.  Once you have the desired amount of thumb tacks pressed through in the patterns you desire, glue them all down on to the fabric part on the inside of the glove.  

4.  Allow the glue to dry.  

5.  When the glue is completely dried, you can use the dowel again to push the fingertips completely back right side out so you don’t scratch or poke yourself.  Unless, of course, you’re into that kinda thing…  😉

Definitely one of the easiest DIY BDSM toys/props I’ve come across so far, hands down!  (I’m so punny!)

Would you like to experiment with these sensory play leather gloves?  Would you be able to make a pair (or two!) for you and your partner(s)?  How would you like to use these gloves in a scene…? For sensory play, impact play, blood play?  What’s your opinion?

~Beautifully Broken~

​My Daddy Dom Moves Mountains For Me (NSFW)

Daddy gives the absolute best head I’ve ever had.

Okay,  I know that was blunt, but i have to make you understand where I’m coming from here.

I mean this Man goes *in*.  He pays attention to every silken crease and fold, every inch is explored and devoured before He is sated.  Our bed is always soaked in saliva and pussy juices afterwards.

Daddy went down on me the other night.  He was incredible.  He kept edging me, leading me back up to the crest…and pulling me back down the wave, over and over again, without me losing focus and getting all frustrated.  I just let my body go and instinctually respond to Him, knowing implicitly that I would recieve whatever He was trying to give me during that encounter.  I just simply let go and gave every part of myself to Him.

All the stress about our daily finances, all the tension of me being in an employment holding pattern until Fall when school starts, all the grief over my friend’s overdose and all the deaths of old friends that i have suffered this year…it all just rose to the surface and washed out to sea as the rolling waves He created on my clit swayed me, cradling me, keeping me safe, as it all drifted away from me.

I remembered how complete I felt during our last maintenance spanking scene and i hugged Him tight, in acknowledgement and thanks for Him finding a new way to elicit that much needed response from me when our maintenance spanking sessions just aren’t possible right now.

Daddy knew i needed that kind of therapeutic release and He figured out a wonderful way of delivering that to His girl.  That Man doesn’t run from a problem, He faces the mountain.  Even when He cannot get around the mountain at hand, He doesn’t give up.  He simply finds a way to move the mountain out of His path instead.  Daddy moves mountains for me every day…and I adore Him for it ♡

~Beautifully Broken~

There Is No Such Thing As a True Dominant (Or a True Submissive Or Anything Else, For That Matter)

This meme is incredibly accurate…especially for a meme.  Dominance (and submission, for that matter) is a state of mind above than anything else…much more a state of mind than it is something sexual or even kinky.  My Daddy and I can be in a crowded room, full of non-Lifestylers, and all He has to do is give me a two second look and my body viscerally reacts.  My pulse quickens and my breath draws in more shallow.  I can instantly hear His voice in my head, actually saying whatever needs to be communicated in His sexy, deepened voice and I literally start to melt.  And, yes…I know what ‘literally’ means.  That’s what I’m talking about when I proudly title Him with the honorific as my Dom, my Daddy Dom, my Daddy, my Sadist, my Other, my Love…He is both inside my head and inside my heart.

Daddy and I are  practicing a 24/7 Dominance/submission (D/s) Caregiver dynamics in our home together.  We have come to title our dynamic as such because we are a “Daddy Dom/babygirl” caregiver paradigm as well as D/s.  Some Daddies and littles do not subscribe to the D/s power exchange at all, opting only for the caregiver aspect, so I will usually make that distinction.

Daddy and I have had hours of discussions about what works for us as individuals and as a couple, in terms of intimate wants and needs, emotional boundaries, sexual limits and desires and both short and long term goals for the future.  We know one another very, very well.  We have come to a place in our relationship where it’s easier to talk about the uncomfortable emotions and just be real with each other.  It’s not always easy but it is worth it.  I think that the biggest downfall of any alternative lifestyles relationship dynamic is when the parties have differences in their wants, needs, limits and desires because that creates unmet expectations.  Unfulfilled expectations can be devastating to one party while the other party does not even know that there’s any issue going on in their partner’s(s’) mind and heart at all.  

Some people form the foundations for these unfulfilled expectations even before the ever meet their partner!!  

For example, let’s say I am new to the BDSM scene.  I have done my research online and discussed personal experiences on topics of which i have personal interest with others through reputable Internet groups and I have gone out into my local community to begin to form a network of friendships.  I have already decided, in my own mind, exactly what a “real” Dom looks like…and I have done this strictly from my own inaccurate impressions from books and articles as well as on my own unexperienced expectations of what Dominance, submission, and BDSM at large, actually are.  

If the above list is what works for you right now, that’s great.  However, no one can expect everyone to subscribe to their wants, needs or belief systems.  At this point, a new kinkster is all about BDSM Fantasy instead of BDSM Reality because they simply do not know any better.  A person who is new to kink will already have unrealistic perceptions of what participating in BDSM is all about…and to make matters worse, they usually expect everyone in the Lifestyle to agree with them.  It just doesn’t work.

Your perception of what a “true” or “real” Dominant, submissive, Top, bottom and/or switch is will not match up with the realities of others.  You cannot expect them to do so.  It takes time and experience to understand that YKINMKBYKIOK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink But Your Kink Is O.K.).  In other words, just because you are into something that I’m not into, it doesn’t make your desires “bad”, it just makes them not for me.  This concept extends from inclinations towards sexual activities, predispositions to kinks and fetishes as well as desires and limits regarding interpersonal relationships and/or participation in any BDSM dynamics.

One of the most commonly overlooked aspects of BDSM is the vetting, questioning and interviewing of potential partners.  People need to remember that not every person will be into what you’re into so it’s important to take the time to find someone who is.  

Let me repeat that:  

It takes time to find a compatible partner.

Talk about your wants and needs with your potential partner(s) without shame.  Discuss your goals and limits with honesty and integrity.  Be true to yourself.  Allow others to be true to themselves without degradation or expectations.  Understand that just because something doesn’t work for you doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work wonderfully for others.

A final point worth mentioning…

Honorable BDSMers come in all shapes and sizes.  One size does definitely NOT fit all in this Lifestyle.  That said, there ARE people who hurt and abuse others.

THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT PRACTICING BDSM.  THE ARE PRACTICING ABUSE.  Plain and simple.

When we label people as “true” and “real”, especially on social media, we set up an impossibly inaccurate standards to which others are forcefully made to adhere, even if just in our own minds.  It’s unfair, biased and unrealistic to do this.  There are definitely people who try to act like kinksters from every corner of the Lifestyle, but they are not practicing consensual, responsible BDSM.  They are also the ones who hurt, abuse, rape and kidnap others for their own sick personal gratification.  These people hide among us, but they are not practicing BDSM and I think it is very important that distinction is made.  BDSM is all about CONSENT and people who hurt and abuse others do not have that consent.  The two concepts are miles apart.

Vetting, questioning and interviewing of potential partner(s), with the help of tools such as various BDSM checklists for activities, kinks and fetishes, is your most powerful asset as you navigate through the Lifestyle.  Taking the time to ask, research and answer these types of discussion prompts is yet another asset.  Don’t become frenzied as you search for prospective partners, take your time and learn to know with whom you are dealing…or even if you care to deal with them at all.

~Beautifully Broken~

Menstrual Blood Play and Menstrual Blood Worship 

*Originally written and posted on Facebook on May 2, 2016.

Many people believe that menstrual blood play and menstrual worship are strictly for Dommes and male submissives…but in my dynamic we throughly disagree.  Menophilia is not only a favorite kink of ours but it is also extremely sacred to us and it is an important aspect of our dynamic for many reasons.

Menstrual blood play can include many activities within our dynamic.  We engage in all types of sexual activities and practices when I’m menstruating and we look forward to this time of the month with great anticipation.  Painting one another with my blood, ruining clothing and bedding with my blood, drinking my blood as well as collecting my blood in vials to be worn or stored for Pagan rituals are other key aspects.

Menstrual worship, for us, is all about honoring the sacred feminine and acknowledging the power of creation.  My Dom will care for me in several ways, including making sure any pain is managed, keeping me in hot tea before I even ask as well as telling and showing me how desirable I am to Him, especially when I’m bleeding.  Later this morning, He will collect my menstrual blood in a vial and divide it up, some to be used in an upcoming moonlight Pagan ritual in which we will participate and some to be stored in a pendant vial which He will wear on a chain around His neck.

Everyone has very personal and distinctive feelings regarding menstrual blood play and what is a turn on for some is distasteful to others and that’s perfectly fine.  How do you feel about menstrual blood play and worship?  Are they acts you engage in within your dynamic?  If so, what aspects of this type of play are important to you and your partner(s)?

~Beautifully Broken~

A Sanguinarian, Blade Play and Blood Play Scene

Daddy and I are a part of the Sanguinarian lifestyle, which means we participate in the acts of feeding and donating blood during scenes and sex.  Daddy always feeds, I always donate.  He is called a ‘Sang’ and I am called a ‘swan’.  I always cut myself to get the blood He so badly craves.  He has yet to lift a blade against me.  We are both okay with that.  We both know each other’s limits as far as blade play and blood play.

Last night, He lit the candles and dimmed the lights in our bedroom.  I gathered the blade, the disinfectant, the bandages and the bandages and laid them out before us on the shelf.  He sat down on the bed as I stood before Him, holding the blade.  He took the blade from my hand, looked up at me and asked if I was ready.  I looked at Him quizically and asked, “Are You?”.  His hesitation to answer my question told me that no, indeed He was not..and that was perfectly okay.  Negotiating a scene, especially an emotionally and/or sexually charged scene, should never take place during a scene, but rather before, when everyone is still level headed and reasonable.

I took the blade from my Lover’s hand and made a thin scratch on my forearm.  He took my hand, lifted my arm to His lips and licked the thin stream of blood from the wound.  He began grabbing and squeezing the scratch, pressing a bit more blood to the surface and savored the coppery taste.  When He had drank all the small scratch would yield, He released my arm and I picked up the blade again.  I made two slightly deeper cuts on my upper thigh and Daddy waited with His breath drawn in for the shallow cuts to begin to show red.  The blood began to pool in little droplets at the surface as He closed His eyes and lowered His mouth to the wounds.  Growling in His throat, He licked and sucked at my blood, hungry and excited for more.

The endorphins had just began to kick in for me, the pain of the shallow cuts exacerbated by His suckling and needing at the wounds.  Subspace was close…the pain was pulling me slowly into a hazy, darkened fog…my body began to shake and spasm involuntarily.  Daddy growled again and pulled my thigh to Him,  hard and rough…the way He enjoys feeding the most.

When He had taken all the blood the shallow cuts would allow, He released my thigh and directed me to start cleaning the cuts and scratches.  He was breathing deeply…but He was not yet satisfyed.  He had just told me to clean my wounds, signaling that part of the scene was finished.  I felt like I had failed Him.  I knew He was dissatisfied with the level out output, yet He had ended the scene.

“Let me cut deeper for You,” I asked, my eyes rimmed with tears.

“I never said you had to cut so shallow,” He responded.

I took up the blade for the third time.  I made three deep cuts on my thigh, one next to the other, just below the other two He had just bleed dry.  These cuts were deep.  Not deep enough to require stitches (which is a hard limit at the present time) but deep enough for the blood droplets to pool at the surface of the wounds and drip down my leg, running together and increasing the bloodflow.  He looked at my blood, the rivulets trickling down my thigh, and He grabbed my leg, hard, and began to feed.

Subspace was now fully engulfing me, drawing me slowly into its darkened shadows.  My body was trembling and my head was fuzzy as He licked and sucked at my burning thigh.  He was finally satisfying His burning desires for blood and pain.  My blood.  My pain.  All for Him.  Only for Him.

And now, here I sit, the morning after, typing this passage as a momemto.   My wounds cleaned and still stinging, remembering the passion with which we practiced our scene and the lovemaking that followed.  Cherishing the ease with which He wiped away my fears of inadequacy last night, as easily as He wipes the tears from my eyes…and the blood from my thighs.

~Beautifully Broken~

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Ice Play Techniques

*Originally written and posted on Facebook on September 10, 2015.

Ice is a very versatile tool in a Dominant’s sensory play bag of tricks. Ice can be used as a method of pleasure and also as a punishment technique. Most submissives (and some Dominants too!) enjoy the feeling of an ice cube being traced over their bare nipples and down their nude bellies during a scene.

I’ve even known Dominants who punish their submissives by placing multiple ice cubes up inside the submissive…and the submissive must clench to keep the ice inside as they stand or kneel over a towel while the ice melts and the cold water drips from their body. I’ve personally experienced this punishment with a former Dom…and as a result of this association with punishment, I’m no longer a fan of ice play.

Luckily for me, however, I’m in a fabulous BDSM group and a few weeks ago I read a post about “Cum Cubes”. The name is pretty self-explanatory. Something about the idea was completely intriguing and when my Dom saw the post, we decided that such nifty little frozen cubes His love were definitely in my future. Happily, a couple can use cum cubes in real time or long distance relationships.

While talking with my Dom last night, i mentioned a post about the Clothes Pin Zipper String Method and how I’d have a few sets ready by the time He visited. I could hear the excitement in His voice as He told me about His latest idea to break thru my “big freeze” (ice play) barrier…Ice Cubes on a String!!

The concept is similar to a clothes pin zipper string method. First, fill an ice cube tray half full of water and let it freeze completely. Then place a length of string or ribbon across the top of the ice and secure the string/ribbon on each side of the ice cube tray. Next fill up the ice cube tray the rest of the way and allow the ice to freeze with the string/ribbon in the middle. When you remove the ice from the tray, the ice cubes will be attached. The ice cubes on the string can then be used on the submissive by placing the cubes one by one into the submissive…and then yanking them out all at once during orgasm.

What are some of YOUR favorite ways to enjoy sensory play with ice?

~Beautifully Broken~

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Six Types of Spankings

*Written and posted on Facebook on September 17, 2015.

There are several types of spankings that can be introduced and applied within your relationship dynamic, including therapeutic spankings, erotic spankings, punishment spankings, role play spankings, hardcore spankings and maintenance spankings. These spankings can be given by hand or by impact play props, such a paddle, a cane, a flogger, a riding crop, a whip, a slapper, a cat-o-nine tails or anything else that can be safely used as an impact session prop. Each type of spanking will have its own range on the pain scale of 1 (slight slap) to 10 (extreme strike). Any type of spanking can and should be stopped immediately by the submissive calling the safe word.

Therapeutic spankings are solely intended to bring about emotional release for the submissive and as such, they are usually without any sexual aspect. The Dominant is seeking to break down any emotional walls the submissive may be struggling with and/or to reduce stress by triggering an emotional release, usually (for me anyway) resulting in uncontrollable sobbing until complete exhaustion. They are most often done by hand so the Dominant can more intimately connect with the submissive. Therapeutic spankings will usually range anywhere from 4 to 8 on the pain scale, but the preferences and needs of each couple will vary.

Erotic spankings are intended as an erotic prelude to a sexual encounter. These types of spankings usually begin very mellow and deliberate and build in intensity to the desired level of erotic pain. Submissive “painsluts” are very fond of these types of spankings, as the pain isn’t overwhelming and the endorphins released will increase their sexual desire, in turn, increasing the arousal of their Dominant. They can be done with any implement the couple most enjoys. Erotic spankings will usually increase in range on the pain scale, from 2 to 8, but can go as far as 10, depending upon preferences of the couple.

Punishment spankings are just that…punishment…and are NOT intended to be enjoyed by the submissive. They are used to correct inappropriate behavior and to serve as a reminder of the Dominant’s displeasure in the actions of the submissive. They can be done with any implement but some feel that using the bare hands is much more intimate, and thus bonds the experience to the mind of the submissive and offers a greater chance of the submissive not repeating the inappropriate behavior. Punishment spankings can range from 4 to 10 on the pain scale, per the intentions of the Dominant.

Role play spankings are the most diverse type of spankings because the role play scenario(s) can vary significantly from couple to couple and from role play experience to experience. The role play scenarios can include a Mommy disciplining her little boy for drawing on the walls to a government official torturing a criminal for information. The ideas for role play spankings are only limited by your imagination and personal comfort level. They can be done with bare hands and any implement(s) that fit the scenario. Role play spankings can range from 1 to 10 on the pain scale, depending upon the fantasy and the preferences of the couple.

Hardcore spankings are exactly as the name suggests…hardcore. These spankings are most often only engaged in by Sadists and masochists and/or painsluts. They are intended to deliver and receive pain…nothing more and nothing less, and as such, feelings of arousal are secondary, if even applicable. They can be done by hand or by an impact session prop, and are often applied by the more extreme ones, such as tails, slappers and whips. Hardcore spankings can gradually increase in range on the pain scale from 4 to 10…but many Sadists start hard and heavy and maintain it throughout the session.

Maintenance spankings are used as a method of establishing a connection, or more often a re-connection, between a Dom and a sub. The intimate touching and exchanges of energy are positive methods of expressing love, connection and trust. These spankings are even done in LDRs (long distance relationships) by the means of the submissive applying self-spanking techniques under the orders of the Dominant, where the submissive is acting in His or Her stead. They can be done by hand or with any desired impact play prop. Maintenance spankings can range from 2 to 6 on the pain scale, but can vary upon the preferences and desires of each couple…and they can often end in tears, cuddles and sweet words of love and positive reinforcement.

Do you utilize any of these types of spankings in your relationship dynamic? If so, which ones and what do you get out of the experience?

~Beautifully Broken~

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