A Glimpse of The Evolution of Edging

“Sometimes I Need Reminding, But It Gets Easier…” was the original title of this post…because sometimes I do…and His tongue always reminds me.

I’ll be honest here.  I used to get VERY snippy and frustrated when Daddy wouldn’t allow me to climax for more than 2-3 days.  By Day 5, I could be a straight up bitch.  I know that sounds awful…but it’s something I’m still working on after all this time and I’m much better at controling my  emotions now.  For me, keeping my libido in check was MUCH harder when we were long distance…just having Him around every day for snuggles, hugs and kisses helps a lot when He decides it’s ‘Blow Job and Back Rub Week’.  Daddy never goes for more than a day without blowing His wad…unless He’s in one of His ‘Tease and Deny’ moods…and He almost always gets an hour massage before going to sleep every night so constantly touching Him is usually the release I need if He is denying me.  But.  Some night.  Some nights, touching and massaging Him, alone together, in the dark, is enough to drive me positively mad.  I know, I know…it’s not about me…but i still need to have my internal coping mechanisms for such situations.

Sometimes it amazes me how far we’ve come in just 2 1/2 years.  When we began our relationship, I was very insecure about so many different things…myself, my prospective relationship with Him, anything having to do with my future and my sobriety…I was a wreck.  Daddy walked with me in Spirit every single day, from across the country, while I worked to get my life back on track.  Along the way, I helped Him break through  some walls that He never thought were coming down.  We loved each other enough to let us each become the people we were always meant to be.  It’s rare when you find that…everyone wants you to change for them.  Here, we were changing for ourselves…and that’s why the changes stuck.

Now, since Daddy’s living here with me, I don’t get too bad when Daddy wants to deny me.  I don’t get angry, offended or upset, like I used to do that first year of our LDR.  I understand and appreciate our dynamic much more clearly.  Plus, when He finally allows me to cum…it’s not just sex, it’s a spiritual experience.  Phone sex was fantastic when that’s all we had to express our intimacy and lust.  Visits were wonderful but they were always foreshadowed with knowledge of their eventual end.  All of that is finally behind us.  Daddy’s Home now…and being in O/our bed together every night is…perfection 💙

~Beautifully Broken~

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