The 2 Hour Rule

Last year, i learned a wonderful lesson about self control, self awareness and personal responsibility.  A very wise Dom friend taught it to a very powerful sub friend and she passed it on to me.  It is called The Two Hour Rule.

The Two Hour Rule is very simple.  If you are upset, you do NOT post anything about it on social media right away.  Instead, wait two hours and allow yourself to calm down before inviting the world into your drama.  

For one thing, most people don’t really care and for another, the ones that do care only care because it gives them ammunition to use against you.  

If after two hours you still want to post it, wait another two hours.  If after four hours you STILL want to post it, find a trusted friend with whom you can speak in confidence. 

In short, don’t blast yourself, your friends, family and dynamic all over the internet.

The 2 Hour Rule has been INVALUABLE to me as i am learning to become a more self aware and obedient submissive.  What do you think about this rule?  What are your thoughts about airing your personal business on social media in general?

~Beautifully Broken~

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Are You Devoted To Your Submission?

Let’s talk about devotion to our submission…

What does that sentence mean to you?  And no, you don’t have to have a D-type to be devoted to your submission.  You need drive and dedication…in whatever form that takes for you at any given time.

Some people think an s-type isn’t even an s-type without the D-type counterpart.  I think that’s bullshit.  I am not a “natural submissive”, bowing & scraping to anyone who calls themselves a D-type.  I am a caregiver, both professionally & personally…but even without that aspect, i am still a submissive because it’s a basic part of who i am.

I think this is an important distinction because how can i devote myself fully to my Daddy if i can’t even devote myself to myself?  How can i stand, afraid and seemingly alone, in the dark times at His side, if i can’t even stand up for myself?  My D-type doesn’t define or complete me, He compliments me, enhances me.  

Are you able to stand secure in your own submission, on your own?  If not, how can you think you will be able to stand by Another, forsaking your will for Theirs?

Thoughts…?

~Beautifully Broken~

12 Piece Beginner’s Cupping Set for $21.99 +S/H

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One of the perks of merchandising all of these awesome BDSM-related items is that my Daddy and I get to experiment with everything I’m selling…for quality control 😜

This weekend, I won’t be online posting very much because Daddy and I are getting away for Halloween weekend in NYC.  We haven’t participated in a cupping scene in over a year and we’re waaaaaay overdue.  We’re both extremely excited to play with our new 6 & 12 Piece Beginner’s Cupping Set!!

The set contains 6-12 plastic cups, one hand-held pump, one piece of connection tubing and one replacement coupling piece.  The 12 cups come in 6 different graduated sizes and there are 2 of each size.  This set is VERY easy to use and is an excellent sensory play scene prop.

Feeling the cups attached onto your skin is very peaceful and extremely sensual.  The suction strength these cups provide is controlled by the hand-held pump and can be tailored to personal preferences.  When you’re ready to finish the scene, simply lift the release valve on the top of the cup to break the suction.

After the Cupping scene, the reciever is left with delicious round bruises on their skin, which can take days to fade, if the suction is strong enough.  Again, this depends on the preferences of the user/receiver.

This 12 Piece Beginner’s Cupping Set is excellent quality and because the cups are made of plastic instead of glass, the cost of the complete set is much more affordable than many other cupping sets.  This truly is the perfect set for those new to the sensation of cupping!!

To order your 12 Piece Beginner’s Cupping Set, just shoot me an email at beautifullybrokensubmissive@gmail.com with your shipping information so I can calculate the shipping costs for your Custom Purchase Invoice and I’ll get this sent out to you in just a few weeks.  You’re absolutely gonna love it!!

*The full catalogue of all my BDSM Bundles and other kinky items can be found on http://www.facebook.com/beautifullybrokensubmissiveboutique

~Beautifully Broken~

Micro-needles 

​I ordered two sets of Micro-needles from Wish.  Micro-needles are the needles that penetrate the skin on the face and body during elective microdermabrasion treatments to decrease the appearance of scars, stretch marks, cellulite and to stimulate hair growth.  One set has 9 needles and the other has 36.  They are very, very tiny…much smaller than I thought they’d be, really…but to my surprise and delight, they’re actually very sharp and rather painful.  They draw much more blood than a lancet, which is all relative, since the lancets produced no blood at all on neither me nor my partner.  I really love when Daddy and I find amazing kinky uses for non-kinky products! 

*As with any item that breaks the skin and has contact with body fluids, personal responsibility to health and safety standards of that particular item, as well as operation under informed consent, are both vital to a safe and healthy BDSM experience with Micro-needles.  

What are your thoughts on using Micro-needles as BDSM pervertables?

~Beautifully Broken~

Finding Your Personal Balance of Submission And Independence 

I’ve often heard a newly enthralled couple stating things like, “You complete me’, to one another in person and in social media comments, as they coo and snuggle together (virtually, if need be).  We’ve read posts in this very group where couples have described themselves as being “everything” to each other, the “end all and be all” of their “universe”.  The flowery words of poetic sentiment, describing the emotions (as explosive fireworks and as paralyzing electricity) of a new relationship can get pretty racy pretty quickly.  Add in the extra intensity of a newly forged BDSM relationship and I’ve even heard the phrase, “Death means nothing”, in reference to the strength of the bond between the two parties.  (Oh wait, I remember where I’ve heard that.  I said it.  More than once.)

Are those poetic participles of passion a bit sappy and ultimately meaningless?  Yes, definitely…and no, not at all.

As with everything else, perception of the circumstances is key and everything is relative.  Semantics get in the way and all art gets torn from the moment.  And that’s good.  Sometimes we need to see what’s really going on right before our eyes in the absolute most objective way possible.

All of the memories of all those sweet words which were once whispered into your ear will not be enough to keep you from breaking down should the relationship come to an untimely end.  In fact, if you’re like most people, simply recalling the sentimentality of those words of love will make you want to scream when thought of after the relationship is ended.  It doesn’t matter how it ends either.  Only multally amicable partings are not completely devastating.  Otherwise, someone’s either cursing or praising the other’s name, depending ding on just how their partner exited the scene.

We are all very hard on ourselves on a daily basis.  Some of us even have protocol in our dynanic’s about negative self talk and defamatory remarks about our D-type’s property.  Talking and even thinking poorly of oneself is extremely unhealthy and counterproductive.  Most Doms will put guidelines into play because of the severity of psychological damage that comes along with that type of behavior.  Yet many of us still do it every single day.  Why?

I believe that a major reason for this type of negative attitude is because of deeply rooted insecurities which have gained a foothold in our psyche, going as far back as early childhood in some cases.  This type of discord brings about a lack of confidence, massive insecurities and low self esteem.  Exhibiting those negative traits makes for the perfect storm of neurosis, a breeding ground for poor, and even dangerous, life choices which are doomed from the start.  Living with all of those underlying psychological issues, all the while avoiding the  uncomfortable…and downright scary…root of the emotional turmoil (which triggered the occurrences of the negative and unhealthy coping mechanisms in the first place) only sets us up to perpetuate the cycle of abuse, abandonment, distrust or what have you.

Sometimes a person can only begin to see themselves for who and what they really are by looking at themselves through the eyes of another person.  This type of objectivity is the main focus of cognitive therapy.  Sometimes a person can only begin to change their behavior for the better when given the directives to do so by another person they deem “in authority” per whatever qualifications they feel are important at the time.  I can see why patients are sometimes known to transfer strong emotions, and even sexual energy, onto their therapists.  Therapists are trained to deal with this occurrence and are honor bound not to encourage that type of behavior.  The rules for such transference aren’t so clear for many people, Lifestyle or otherwise, when this type of intense relationship occurs between people when other attractions are also present.

Participation in therapy is a requirement for many dynamics and BDSM should not be a substitute for that therapy in any way.  The dependence an s-type feels toward his/her D-type can be incredibly strong, the emotions can become almost overpowering, but any relationship, Lifestyle or otherwise, cannot be your whole universe.

No one can be your rock.  Rocks come and go.  You must be your own rock, first and foremost.  It’s wonderful to love someone, it’s spiritual to submit to someone…and it’s tragically painful to be left by someone.  I’m not saying to hold back your love or your submission but one MUST have a strong foundation of self-worth and belief in self-reliance before control can be given to another in any meaningful way.  I know, I “submitted ” before I was ready a few times…and in all but one case, I was damaged by the experience, to one degree or another.  All that pain and heartache can be easily avoided by simply taking your time with vetting, questioning, interviewing and negotiating with prospective partners…but it takes a healthy sense of self-worth to be able to learn how to do that and avoid the siren song of subfrenzy.

~Beautifully Broken~

Answers In The Silence:  Truths and Myths About Practicing Responsible BDSM

​I was chatting online with a friend the other night who’s boyfriend wants to get more into BDSM in their relationship.  He wants to not only Top her in bed but also move towards a 24/7 power exchange.  I began explaining that going from rough, kinky sex to a full time D/s relationship was a HUGE step, one that would be best achieved by taking several small steps rather than one huge leap, working up to the ultimate goal of a 24/7 power exchange over time.  

She then informed me that this ‘BDSM thing’ was all HIS idea, not hers.  She wasn’t even sure she wanted this…especially with him ‘fooling around’ with other women.

I explained that any relationship must be built on a solid foundation of trust in order to function in a healthy and fulfilling manner.  Trust is only built though open and honest communication and consistent actions.  I suggested she talk to her boyfriend about his behaviors and told her that she needed to put everything on the table with him before they even *think* about adding any type of BDSM play or power exchange into their relationship.  

She explained that they don’t really talk…about anything uncomfortable or serious…in their relationship.  He does what he does, denies doing it and when he is ‘caught’, he just tries to pretend it never happened in the first place.  I reminded my friend that people on my treat us how we allow them to treat us and that we have the personal responsibility to speak up and act when we find that our best interests are not being considered by our partners.  I told her nothing was going to change until she made that change herself.  She responded that she thought i would say that a submissive would just accept any infidelity because the Dominant is always right.  

I explained that BDSM is all about consent and if a submissive didn’t specifically consent to outside relationships in their dynamic, then the Dominant would be in the wrong to pursue and/or hide them.  I also mentioned that sometimes the most important issues are completely discussed in the silence that is created when one partner is being deceptive.

What do you think about a person wanting to get into BDSM only because they thought they could do whatever they wanted as a Dominant or because they thought they wouldn’t have to do anything at all as a submissive?  What would you say to a person or couple in this type of situation?

~Beautifully Broken~

​Making Time For BDSM In Your Daily Life

Above everything else, BDSM is a mindset.

BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism) is an abstract construct which encompasses all of the physical acts of both sexual and non-sexual dominance and submission.  Many people have asked what it takes to keep a BDSM relationship going long term, in both scene-only and 24/7 dynamics.  The answer is simple.

It takes dedication.

We all have busy lives.  Pursuing careers, responding to family obligations, fulfilling  volunteer work, raising children, keeping in touch with friends and family, satisfying household responsibilities are issues we all face.  We all have learned how to juggle our commitments very well.

Unfortunately, keeping so many different balls in the air sometimes means that other areas get neglected.  It happens.  However, making time for those relationships and activities which are important to us needs to be just as much of a priority as everything else we do in our busy day.  There’s a saying which states, “If it matters to you, you will find a way.  If it doesn’t matter to you, you will find an excuse”.  I think this saying definitely applies to our Lifestyle relationships.

We make time for what is important to us.  Plain and simple.  If you have to get the kids to bed early so you and your SO can have a quiet S&M session, do it.  If you have to find childcare so you and your SO can go on a weekend getaway a few times a year, do it.  If you have to wake up early so you and your SO can have some uninterrupted shower sex before cooking breakfast, do it.  Be creative!!  Have fun with your scheduling.  Don’t fall into the trap of thinking scheduled sex and scenes kills the romance.  Ya know what does kill the romance?  Not having the time for any sex or scenes!!  It’s all about your shared mindset.  If you both want it bad enough, make it happen.

Okay, so you say you desperately want to make time to play with your SO but every time a scheduled sex and/or scene arrives, one of you isn’t in the mood.  What then?  Well, obviously things come up and life gets in the way…but sometimes you need to push past those feelings in order to get into that BDSM mindset.  Sending naughty, or downright dirty, texts to one another throughout the day will ignite your passions so much that you’re counting the minutes until your scheduled session later that evening.  Inserting an anal plug and/or adorning nipple clamps under your clothing as you finish work, per your D-type’s orders, can help you leave Type A Personality Woman at the office and more easily transition to His Stupid Whore by the time you arrive Home.  Listening to selections from the BDSM music playlist from your last session on the way Home from work can help you shake off your shitty day and help you transform back into the Dominant you know you are.  If it matters to you, you WILL find a way.  If not…well, you know where this is going.

What are some ways you and your SO make time to nurture and evolve your BDSM relationship?  Can you share any tips you have learned that might help others?

~Beautifully Broken~

A Glimpse of The Evolution of Edging

“Sometimes I Need Reminding, But It Gets Easier…” was the original title of this post…because sometimes I do…and His tongue always reminds me.

I’ll be honest here.  I used to get VERY snippy and frustrated when Daddy wouldn’t allow me to climax for more than 2-3 days.  By Day 5, I could be a straight up bitch.  I know that sounds awful…but it’s something I’m still working on after all this time and I’m much better at controling my  emotions now.  For me, keeping my libido in check was MUCH harder when we were long distance…just having Him around every day for snuggles, hugs and kisses helps a lot when He decides it’s ‘Blow Job and Back Rub Week’.  Daddy never goes for more than a day without blowing His wad…unless He’s in one of His ‘Tease and Deny’ moods…and He almost always gets an hour massage before going to sleep every night so constantly touching Him is usually the release I need if He is denying me.  But.  Some night.  Some nights, touching and massaging Him, alone together, in the dark, is enough to drive me positively mad.  I know, I know…it’s not about me…but i still need to have my internal coping mechanisms for such situations.

Sometimes it amazes me how far we’ve come in just 2 1/2 years.  When we began our relationship, I was very insecure about so many different things…myself, my prospective relationship with Him, anything having to do with my future and my sobriety…I was a wreck.  Daddy walked with me in Spirit every single day, from across the country, while I worked to get my life back on track.  Along the way, I helped Him break through  some walls that He never thought were coming down.  We loved each other enough to let us each become the people we were always meant to be.  It’s rare when you find that…everyone wants you to change for them.  Here, we were changing for ourselves…and that’s why the changes stuck.

Now, since Daddy’s living here with me, I don’t get too bad when Daddy wants to deny me.  I don’t get angry, offended or upset, like I used to do that first year of our LDR.  I understand and appreciate our dynamic much more clearly.  Plus, when He finally allows me to cum…it’s not just sex, it’s a spiritual experience.  Phone sex was fantastic when that’s all we had to express our intimacy and lust.  Visits were wonderful but they were always foreshadowed with knowledge of their eventual end.  All of that is finally behind us.  Daddy’s Home now…and being in O/our bed together every night is…perfection 💙

~Beautifully Broken~