Worst.  Week.  Ever!

I had a fucking terrible week.  

The job search has entered the interview phase and I’m so exhausted.  I just want a full time job with benefits or enough part time work to be able to pay for healthcare benefits myself.  I’ve been waiting all week on something really big to go thru and now it has been delayed.  The other big thing may already be out of my grasp.  

I have to get back to the job search on Monday but for tonight, I’m just done.  I am so fucking done.  I got a letter from my job informing me that as soon as I am making more money, I will have my wages garnished because of non-payment of a bill that was in my name that my ex said he paid 6 years ago.  He never paid it.  Like I have an extra $750.00 just laying around.  Sure.

The cubs are with my ex and Daddy and I are alone (mostly) all weekend.  All I HAVE to do this weekend is bake a mountain of cupcakes for my youngest’s 7th birthday, which just happens to fall on Mother’s Day this year.  Daddy will take care of the breakfasts, lunches, snacks and orgasms all weekend.  I can nap whenever I want.  All I have to do is get out of my funk and enjoy our weekend together without backsliding into any bad old habits.  I will always be an addict and when I don’t use, I want to shop.  So, recognizing that behavior, I am not shopping.  I’ll just pray that other people are shopping and dump their paychecks at my store lol.

Knowing I have a wonderful Dom who would move mountains for me if I just asked Him to…I still cannot let go of this mood.  Oh well.  I will keep trying.

Hey, nobody’s perfect.

Have a great weekend, everyone…  xo

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